The nature of what I do is supposed to be fun.
Looking back at my blogs, I'd always wanted to avoid making the part of writing I really enjoy into serious business. Some of the essence of what I've been doing lately has required that I cross that line, and my fears have been largely realized. I'm not having fun anymore.
When I sit down at my table top games, I feel like I can't switch gears. I'm cranky, far too serious, or I don't help to create the fun that table top RPGs and similar should provide. The line between my work and my down time activities has gotten blurry lately. This has led to a general dissatisfaction in both realms.
Even when I sit down and play a game on my iMac or my iPad, my mind is taking silent notes about the user interface, style, and over all experience of the game. It is hard for me to avoid being critical and allow a game, digital or otherwise, to just be a game right now. My free weights and my bike (stupid rain) seem to be the only means to escape my reality for the for the time being.
I can't believe I'm whining about sacrificing a little comfort so that I can do something I've always wanted to do.