I had it said to me, and then I turned around and said it to someone else. Sometimes when you can't be understood or the person can't be reasoned with, letting them know you are really angry is the second best thing. Maybe they'll just stay away, which is what probably what needs to happen anyway.
This is a thinly veiled way of saying I've chosen to utterly exclude someone from my life. I have had to do that from time to time since I embarked on this road I'd chosen back in 2009. I always wonder if I'm doing the right thing, but it's a better feeling than knowing for sure that I didn't.
Last year around this time I had possessed the urge to edit my first book and really push to self-publish. I decided to write another 700k words instead in the form of manuscripts for novels, game design for my Windows and Table Top game projects, and similar. What I've discovered is a truth I probably already knew. I'm even scared to read my blog from back then because I'm sure I made a mistake not engaging the editing and publishing process sooner.
I've spent the month mourning that decision. Ask anyone with the misfortune to ask me how I've been doing lately, I'm sure they'll tell you. They will probably also tell you I'm not the forgiving or tolerant sort when it comes to failure of any sort really. Okay, I'm done feeling bad about that. It's out of my system.
I'm a better writer now, which is what I really set out to do. So in that regard I haven't faltered in my primary goals and desires. Yay me.
I've spent a lot of time pondering gadgets this month and the best computing devices for moving all my projects forward. Being a writer and a creative almost demands that you own a Mac, nothing else can endure my 8-10 hour day. Breaking in a new Windows Machine every 9 months at $1200 a pop seems kinda dumb compared to my three year old MacBook Pro that's outlasted two of my other machines.
Developing games for the Windows Phone 8 platform requires different hardware entirely. Talking with my partner in crime, the mighty Livestrom, makes me certain it'll require a higher end machine. The new Windows Phones are going to be powerful and emulating them via the SDK is going to be like standing up almost two full operating systems. I'm due for a handset upgrade in February, so I might just wait and push game updates to the device itself for play testing.
I really love my Samsung Focus though. I'll have to find it a good home if I upgrade.
I really liked being able to see everything in context to the code, how assets plugged in, and so forth. Not having my own SDK capable rig will be like building the game blind in some ways, but I don't know that I want to drop serious money on a machine that contribute to little else in my other endeavors. I don't even game on the PC anymore really so there's not even a recreational incentive for a faster machine.
If it can make text reliably and run Sketchbook Pro and OneNote I'm basically fulfilled except with regard to end-game assets for the Windows Phone project. For a lot of it I can get by with Matthew Klundt's Sprite Something app, but for the rest there is only the hard-to-not-use Photoshop.