Thursday, May 6, 2010


Had a long discussion with some friends today about family, the way it influences us, and the power it has to help, or harm us. Anyone we allow to get close to us, seems to gain this unseen power over us in exchange, as if being in our circle wasn't thanks enough. This power we have over each other is often exploited, and not always for the better. In all of me dealings, I deeply regret the moments I wasn't humble, open to the possibility to my own errors, and failings. Also, I regret the moments people I let get close to me, hurt me during those moments.

It goes without saying that everyone has a moment where they've taken advantage of someone else's generosity, and we all know someone who makes it a lifelong career. There are those people that love the role they've been given; the loser, the golden one, the protector, the brain, the one that wears funny socks. How we allow others to treat us and quantify us works into our identity as a social pry-bar in situations we'd like to see go our way. Thus, the source of all social awkwardness revealed? If only it was so easy.

In the end, I secretly treasure those people I've allowed close to me. There are some that have done me wrong, some that hate me, and some that value me in return. More than a few people that would probably like to sit firmly in the camp of enemies, are people I treasure the most in spite of their ire. The hardest thing in the world is to avoid those people you love, friends, family, or somewhere in between, because you know in your heart you have trouble denying them anything. Your love for them also serving as your undoing.

So it is the difficulty of dealing with difficult people.


  1. I hope I am not on your naughty list.

  2. Totally. I texted you last week to see if you'd come take some more space marines of my hands. No reply! My feelings were utterly crushed.

  3. I am 97% sure that text never made it to me. I am usually good at returning texts. Phone calls, not so much. I just realized I had my old phone number on my Facebook profile, so if you pulled it from there it wouldn't have gone to me. I've now updated it. If you want to get together some time to hang out/play games, I finish up school tomorrow, have to play soldier until the 21st, but after that I should have decent amounts of free time.

  4. Mos Def dood. I haven't played 40k in like six months... and I can't remember the last time I played a game of Fantasy. I'll check the phone number with what I have and see if it matches up.