Sunday, April 24, 2011

Closer versus Closure

I sometimes forget why I even maintain this blog.

I haven't been as transparent with myself about my work since I stopped using my Things App and iCal and put my head down on Master and Student Martial Legends. My words per day, devoted to my novels, has slowly tapered off over time as I've embraced game design and development. To that end I applied for a job doing the same with Disney and got past the first hurdle in the hiring process. As all my game projects slowly draw to a close and Disney grows silent (which I'm told is meaningless), I turn back and look at the large sum of work done on my novels in late 2009 and the first half of 2010.

Once Master and Student and Storytelling Sciences are complete I want to refocus on my novels. I have several outlines for books I'd like to write sitting in my PlainText app waiting to be fleshed out into full sized books. The prospect of collaborating with a peer on some cover art for one of my novels is especially appealing as my artistic abilities have developed over the last year. I would still prefer to generate text over anything in the visual medium. That being said, having even a modicum of skill relative to controlling and expressing my works for marketing purposes is a blessing.

It's tempting to set aside what I'm doing now and just work on my writing but I need to be a closer if I want closure in my creative endeavors. If you give something of yourself to a creative work, you owe the piece a chance to be complete. I carry some guilt in that my play test tables for Storytelling Sciences were written to test the system only without necessarily bringing closure to the story the people at the table were enjoying.

I'm sorry Andrea, you were right. You can't leave a good (or bad) story unfinished.

I think I did myself a distinct disservice in that regard and compromised the process itself. Does my game system operate as a good Table Top RPG? Yes. However, that wasn't the goal. It was meant to be a writing tool, and while it has served me well in that regard, would it aid others in the same way? I haven't play tested the system to seek any answers in that regard.

I think I'll publish it dirty anyway, and address that in annual updates. If it gains some traction as a product, maybe I'll get the data I need from feedback I couldn't get from my own process. Humility is my favorite virtue. My reverence for it takes nothing from the pain of approaching it as a concept in earnest.

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