Thursday, September 25, 2014


I remember laying in my own driveway, breathing heavily and wondering what to do next as I looked at my mauled leg. I limped inside my house, and took a moment to cool down. My first instinct was to arm myself, and go after the dog, make sure it didn't hurt anyone else. Being who I am, I had all sorts of mental preparation for preventing myself becoming a victim, but not much in the way for grappling with actually being one.

When I went over to the neighbor, he was there with his friend (who owned the dog). The dog freaked out, lunging at me again barking and basically going crazy.

I backed slowly away with my hands raised in a non-threatening manner.

I cried out, "your dog attacked me," and pointed at the wounds.

My neighbor turned to his friend shaking his head, and said "told you".

The dog owner seemed baffled that I had a problem, even as blood ran down into my socks. It wasn't until I explained the legal situation he was in that it sort of dawned on him what was going on. In the end they paid for my medical bills and the dog went away. That would have been the outcome regardless as soon as I called the police. In the end it didn't come to that, but the encounter changed me forever.

Tuesday afternoon while I was on a stroll, a large black dog rushed at me, barking and going basically bat crap loco. The owner, trailed behind screaming and freaking out at the dog, basically mimicking the dog's behavior.

I backed slowly away with my hands raised in a non-threatening manner.

Having been attacked and bitten by dogs more than once, I'm pretty much done with the animals. In every case I was just minding my own business, and the dogs went after me. In every case, the dog had an owner that was imperceptibly brighter  As an adult it was in my own driveway. I have had extremely close encounters with Pitt Bulls, Bull mastiffs, and Rottweilers working in my previous occupations.

Once, I had a customer ask the company to make a delivery to their back door. When I got there, the gate was locked so I had to climb it. Their two mastiffs had broken through the backdoor to the garage and streaked toward me as I made my descent. I don't even remember going back over the fence it all happened so fast. The fence barely held them as they barked crazily trying to get at me.

Why do people delight in having large and extremely dangerous dogs for house pets? I make a lot of assumptions about these sorts of people. If I meet someone new and they own dogs, they have to be pretty awesome for that encounter to become a friendship. I know, it isn't rational, but neither is my fear of dying in the vacuum of space.

My maternal grandparents had an amazing dog.

My mother had several great dogs that I loved and enjoyed.

I have friends who had lovable dog companions that I looked forward to seeing when I saw my friend.

I think there are some people who have an affinity for the animals and are able to train them and raise them to be good companions. I think these people are extremely rare, and that most people lack the wisdom or the empathy to competently have any pets, let alone one capable of harming or killing someone.

If you do have a dog, and it isn't in your home or fenced yard, pretty please, with some fucking sugar on top, keep it on a leash. .

Thank you.

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