Buyer's Anxiety

I've spent the last couple of days ponder a new workstation with which to take my projects to the next level. It's a strange ritual that has been easy in the past because I just needed something that can make text. A $250 Netbook worked fine for what I needed with a little oomph for games, but only maybe. 

In 2009, I sprung for a MacBook Pro and a Cinema Display. They have, and continue to, serve me very well. My Lenovo E420 worked in tandem with them for most of my work on the Windows Phone 7 platform, but visual rendering and color sync between all the various platforms in which I worked had been a real challenge. I spent a lot of time getting that as right as I could with my only minimal amount of self training. 

Fast forward to the last couple of months and I'm suddenly serious as a heart attack about Windows Phone 8 development, far more than I had been about 7. I want to build beautiful things for the platform and my old partner in crime is similarly afflicted. Working 8-5 M-F on my novels leaves only nights and weekends to work on Windows Phone, and my time is more constrained even though I need more of it. 

My gracious wife has allowed me, in the past, to pull long hours, after hours, because she was working on her Master's. Now that she has her various degrees (I framed them a couple days ago), she will probably want to actually spend time with me again. At least that's my working theory. 

It was fine to spend time juggling Windows Phone development between platforms before because it was more of a side project and I had time in the evenings to burn. Normally I'm so sure about gear when I make a purchase, but this feels like I'm making a bigger decision than just buying a new workstation. 

I feel like I am committing to a path. I felt like Windows Phone development was just a fun thing before, and it still is, but to commit to several hundred frames of animation, and probably a thousand still images, all as good as I can possibly produce is the minimum investment I can make. 

I need a workstation that can let me write, render visuals with accurate color, stand up the WP8 SDK & Emulator, run Photoshop, Office, and a host of other applications that are part of my workflow. I've tried looking at HP's Probooks, but their site is unnavigable and none of the models seem to have any customization. Dell's site is a lot better, but none of the models have a color sensor built in and calibrated at the factory like Lenovo's W530. No one else even manufactures a contender from what I've seen. 

These machines do not appeal to my technological vanity. I love my iPad, and the MacBook Air, and Microsoft's Surface. Sadly, none of those have the horsepower or all the capabilities I'm looking for in a mobile workstation. The one thing the W530 lacks, I'll be able to add when Lenovo's mobile touchscreen monitor is released in the spring. I really thought I would always be a Mac guy after my bitter battle with Asus in the Fall of 2009. 

I've looked at new MacBook Pros (my current one won't work, no SLAT support) as a possibility, and they offer some pretty nice options in that regard. The retina display models are pointless for anything but video or photo editing. Building visuals for video games just works better (for me) with a 1:1 pixel mapping, which can be simulated in most apps, but I like seeing things as they would probably be seen on the target device, without scaling, etcetera. 

However, from what I've read online, there may be no way to (currently) get the Windows Phone 8 development tools to run on a Mac. Parallels and BootCamp don't work (near as I can tell), so I'm buying a Windows machine most likely. I'd be okay with waiting for a workaround if I thought one was on the horizon, but I doubt there's a bunch of Windows Phone 8 devs beating on Apple's door to produce one. 

December 2012

Working a 'regular' job generally means that you do a little bit of work for incremental rewards that sync up with time spent at daily endeavors. Working as an independent or self-published writer provides the opposite experience. You will work long hours and you won't see any reward until the process is complete. The incremental rewards lie within the task and the feelings one acquires as they grow as a person and a creative. 

The most obvious reward is the content one creates. When you look over at a stack of manuscripts, thoughts, world building, designs, poems, and impressions you've collected, there's a feeling. It is more than a pile of printouts and moleskines you've filled with things that came from your own mind, or through the observances of your own senses. 

It is validation of your own creativity, proof you exist, and echoes of that existence. Like no other animal or organism on earth, we make a record of things that allow us to proceed as a species. I still don't think that it is the calling of a few. Everyone should write.  

There's a difference when reading a book, watching a movie, or playing a video game when one has learned to appreciate the content and work that went into it. To create is to appreciate the creation of others and to connect with those people. This isn't to say you must paint with oils to appreciate a painting done in that medium, but it certainly enhances your understanding of all that went into a particular work. 

I fight the urge to give things intrinsic value, but I can never deny the same to the person or people behind what created those things. To have someone, an organization, or yourself benefit from what you create doesn't mean those things were really valuable. It's the creator that is valuable, something that copyright laws and governmental attempts to prevent piracy fails to take into consideration. 

It's the reason some of my favorite creations have been ruined. Not because the creations weren't protected or even appreciated, but because the creator was marginalized and ignored. How many of the greatest creative people have been recognized as such long after their deaths? Old hat.

I think about it more often now, particularly when someone wants to put something I've done on a t-shirt or coffee cup. I get asked to use my dabbler-rank illustration skills to help noble causes only on occasion, but I'm always glad to try and add my own value to things that are already priceless. December was one of those times, and I surprised myself with the work I produced. 

It was good timing. I will need a little extra confidence for what's to come in 2013.

Windows 8, Part 2

Okay, I've had awhile to work with Windows 8 Pro and ponder what Microsoft has done with their new operating system. I'm gonna just start rambling, quit reading when you get bored. 

Near as I can tell there are three versions of the OS for sale. First, there's the version that lets you upgrade to Windows Pro from XP SP3, Vista, and Windows 7. Second, there's a version that lets you upgrade from Windows 8 to Windows 8 Pro. Finally, there is whatever they ship on new hardware if you buy a device. 

So, if you build your own system, you'll have to buy two operating systems to get Windows 8 installed on the machine. There is no "full" version of the OS allowing for a fresh install on a hand built machine. Feel free to chime in if I'm wrong or missed something. Maybe it's lurking on Microsoft's website somewhere, but I couldn't find it. 

I can only come to one conclusion relative to Microsoft's decision to market the OS this way. Hurrah for Steam coming to Ubuntu! Seriously, if you hand build a gaming machine, being able to download a free OS and play games on Steam is going to be pretty attractive. Not sure why Microsoft would want to give gamers a powerful incentive to go elsewhere, but I'm sure they know what they're doing. 

Yeah, enough about that. 

I've had a chance to use some of the Windows 8 applications. There are some that are quite good. There are some that should be awesome, but are horrible. Every application I used had bugs and felt half finished. 

The most disappointing of the bunch was the SkyDrive App. It's pretty much worthless. It should have been a click or two less for the purpose of accessing full browser functionality of your cloud storage. It's maddening because the browser experience is subpar when working from the Start Menu.

Yes, apps behave differently depending on whether they are launched from the Start Menu or the desktop. I get why they did this, but having the browser less functional in what's supposed to be casual computing mode seems counter intuitive. Maybe it's different with a touch screen? I hope so. 

A common theme among almost all apps is the inability to reliably stream video. Only the Netflix app seemed immune (it's great actually), but all the news and media apps with videos just crash or fail to load. Frustrating!

Most apps behave well when constrained to a third of the screen for better multitasking but a few fail to function properly. I found a keen text editor, but it ceases to function when constrained and some apps just don't work well unless they are windowed or full screen. Frustrating x2!!

Here again, the Netflix app seems to outperform all others working in full screen, constrained, and windowed modes. The app also pauses and restarts where you left off if you jump from Start Menu to Desktop or vice versa. They really (really) did a nice job with their application for Windows 8. 

I'm having some syncing issues with OneNote, but I suspect my working across three computing platforms is probably to blame. It syncs fine to my SkyDrive, my iPad, and Windows Phone 7, but I struggle on my Lenovo. Everything else that is MS Office or that is launched from the Desktop performs admirably. 

Windows 8 Pro is fast. It boots, loads applications, shuts down, and performs tasks very quickly. It out performs just about every operating system I've used, Mac, Microsoft, or Ubuntu. Only iOS on my iPad has the same responsiveness and feel. I really like clicking something and just having it just go, no spinning beach balls or hourglasses. 

I really like the way Windows 8 looks and behaves. However, and I think I said it in my other post, but navigating with a mouse and keyboard isn't ideal. I long for a touchscreen. When I had a chance to use the Surface RT, it must have ruined me because using the cursor to work with apps is nowhere near as smooth or intuitive as using your finger on a touchscreen. 

I'd recommend Windows 8 Pro to people, but definitely as part of purchasing new hardware. I don't recommend the upgrade, particularly if you have a Windows 7 machine you're happy with. Had to do over again, I would have patiently waited for the right Windows 8 hardware to be released and gone that road instead. 

If you are planning on building a new machine for gaming, wait and see what Valve and Nvidia do for Ubuntu or just stick with Windows 7. Windows 8 is a good OS for productivity, casual computing, and portable touchscreen form factors. 

The bad news is that there is little in the way of hardware for Windows 8 Pro so far. There are a handful of tablets and all-in-one devices that look promising but the best of the bunch has yet to be released. Lenovo and Microsoft's Windows Pro tablets aren't out yet and I'm waiting to see how it performs on devices with Atom processors. 

If Paul Thurrott is to be believed, Windows 8 PC sales haven't been all Microsoft hoped for. Personally, I don't see much out there worth buying. The few Windows 8 and Windows RT devices people can actually buy right now aren't that exciting. Microsoft is blaming manufacturers for dropping the ball, and they might be right. 

A short list of RT devices I've been looking at and my accompanying thoughts:

Asus Vivo Tab RT - Nope, don't like it. 

Dell XPS 10 - Nice design, build quality looks good, but it has a Snapdragon processor which makes me nervous. 

Lenovo Yoga (RT) - If I just wanted a standard laptop form factor, yeah, this would be a good choice. I'd never utilize the feature that is it's namesake. 

Microsoft Surface RT - Yep, of you want RT, I'd buy this. 

A short list of Pro devices I've been looking at and my accompanying thoughts:

Asus Vivo Tab - It's gotten a few good reviews, but I'm still holding a grudge over my last couple Asus laptops. 

Dell XPS 12 - Looks like it might be the most powerful of the bunch so far. You gotta pay for performance and the battery life might not be great, but it has nice specs. 

Dell Latitude 10 - It has a user replaceable battery and it's priced to move. This one might be my next depending on what the Surface Pro ends up looking like. 

Lenovo Thinkpad 2 - Beautifully designed, decent specs, and pricing. Might be what I go with if I don't have the patience to wait for Surface Pro. 

Microsoft Surface Pro - Waiting for final specs to be released, but if it is half as nice as the RT version, it'll be the one to buy probably. 

If you buy something through the Microsoft site, you can get an assurance two-year warranty plan for $99. It covers accidental damage and spills as well. I read through the terms looking for a catch, and aside from the usual legalese mumbo-jumbo it looks like a pretty good deal. If I pre-order a Thinkpad Tablet 2, I'll probably get the plan. 

I've been doing a lot of thinking about NFC or near field communications capabilities. A few of these laptops have NFC built in and I'm wondering what sort of capabilities this will grant the devices. I would love it if someone would make a device I could just set down on a charging pad and it would wirelessly charge, hook up to a monitor, keyboard, and other peripherals. I doubt these new devices will do all that, but I think it's coming, the end of cables, ports, and similar.

November 2012

Pixel Pokings

Windows 8 Pro, Initial

My initial impressions of Windows 8 Pro leave me mostly bewildered. Installing it on my Lenovo as an upgrade was, I’m certain, not the experience Microsoft wants their users to have. Right away, I would strongly caution anyone upgrading on older equipment, and when I say older, I mean anything eighteen months or older. Even better, get Windows 8 on new hardware already installed.

 

I’ll dispense with the details but after my recovery partition was deleted, I was locked out of the bios, and Windows 8 Pro wouldn’t activate, I was pretty frustrated.

 

First, the partitioning tools that came with Windows 8 installation suite are mostly useless, so if you’re working around Linux, a Linux Swap, System, and Recovery partitions, you’ll be flirting with disaster. Make sure you reset your machine to factory and back up your files before even attempting an upgrade. Windows 8 isn’t advanced enough to handle anything more than that.

 

The packaging on a copy of Windows 8 is pretty deceptive. Near as I can tell there is no such thing as a full version that allows you to do a clean install. You’ll have to re-install your old OS and upgrade regardless of what you purchase. This is counter intuitive to everyone who has been wrestling with Windows for more than a decade. Doing a fresh install is always better than an upgrade, but now you've no choice but to do the latter apparently.

 

Yeah, it’ll let you do the fresh install, but your copy won’t activate forcing you to go through the whole process over again.  

 

Near as a colleague and I can tell, the OS boots in such a way and quickly enough that you’ll be prevented from getting to the BIOS to make adjustments. That’s how it is on my Lenovo anyway. The restart features within the OS that claim to allow you to boot from other sources doesn’t work whatsoever, and I still haven’t found a reliable way to boot from a USB. Most of the advanced features I’ve found in control panel and settings don’t do what they claim and are likewise useless.

 

I found myself wishing I had a copy of Windows Millennium. Seriously, it would have been easier to install.

 

In the end I did a fresh install to try and find some feature that would let me boot Linux or access some sort of disk utility as I had not yet discovered my recovery partition had already been obliterated. Miraculously, the product activated and began to work normally. I have no idea why (from all indication, it shouldn't), and I was able to go in and check out some of the aforementioned “features”.

 

I loaded Office Pro 2010, Sketchbook Pro 2011, Minecraft, Java, and a few other odds and ends like Dropbox and began giving the operating system a try. It’s incredibly fast, intuitive, and elegant once you get it running. The store and handling of applications is great, the ability to organize the Start menu quickly is nice, and the performance is nonpareil. For reference, I'm running it on a Lenovo e420 with an i3-2310 @ 2.1 GHz, and 8 GB Ram, 7200 RPM harddrive. Pretty much stock except for the extra stick of RAM.

I couldn’t say enough great things about it until I discovered something ugly. I clicked on the beautiful weather application and scrolled all the way to the right. Big as life, there’s a shampoo ad or something displayed right in the app. I chuckled not because it was funny, but because it was decidedly not funny. Microsoft put ads in the “Pro” version of the operating system? Really?

Yeah, bewildered is the right word here. I'll write more as I get things figured out.

Being Pro-Life

Being Pro-Life starts with you, as an individual, and the choices you make. From there it spreads out to your friends and family, to your church, and to your community. It has always been about community activism and giving people information and options to make choices. Being Pro-Life is about loving other human beings and respecting not only their innate and biological life, but the metaphysical workings of their agency. 

When life begins isn't important to these beliefs, only what we do is important. If we are allowing others full access to their agency with the knowledge to use it properly, we are being true to the cause. When we stray from that notion, we stumble and fail. 

The moment we believe the Federal Government can do a better job of taking care of our friends and neighbors than we can, is the moment we can no longer lay claim to being Pro-Life. I think John Koster, Richard Mourdock, Todd Akin, Paul Ryan and others are probably having to give their anti-choice notions some thought now. Indeed, I hope the entire Republican Party is thinking about it. 

I personally believe it played a role in them losing the Senate and the White House. 

You can't be anti-choice and a fiscal conservative. It takes money to shake down dealers holding black market oral contraceptives and to kick in the door of every benevolent doctor giving a 12-year-old incest victim an abortion. Worse, this is the last way most police officer want to spend their time. Think! Do you want your community, your church leaders, and yourself responsible for spreading the Pro-Life message? People that really want to be there? Or men with guns that don't? 

Do we really want the Federal Government interfering with a pregnant cancer patient's agency, while she decides whether to fight for her life for her other two kids, or risk all and carry to term? Would you rather have benevolent friends, family, church/community leaders involved, or the Federal Government? 

Hint: The Federal Government tend to deploy heavily armed law enforcement professionals and lawyers with political ambitions to enforce the law. 

The Federal Government can't even balance a checkbook, do we really want them playing doctor with our wives, daughters, aunts, mothers, sisters, cousins, friends, neighbors, and fellow citizens? I think the message to the GOP and the Anti-Choice movement this election cycle was clear. These "Sanctity of Life" and "Personhood" pieces of legislation that have been pushed unsuccessfully since 1995 need to just stop. Put simply, we're wise to it, and we don't want it, push your radical views to your constituency some other way. 

If you want to be Pro-Life, just do it, don't try to legislate it, quantify it, or put it into a legal context. Anyone with a true devotion to their fellow human, derived from their maker or otherwise, knows that doing so is to invite folley and to see one's beliefs cheapened by a soul-blackening political machine. 

If we don't support and love our fellow humans in spite of the choices they make, we are cheapening the significance of having a choice in the first place. Do not erode the greatest gift that comes with life by supporting people who would foster Federal control over the lives of others. These people are not true advocates of the Pro-Life movement, not true fiscal conservatives, and have utterly lost their way. 

Surface RT

I had all sorts of expectations about the Surface device before I had a chance to actually handle one. I marvel at how uniform every review of the iPad is as compared to the Surface device. The iPad seems to be pretty much the same experience for everyone while the Surface obviously produces an array of experiences. People confuse this to mean the Surface must be deficient in some way and that it must certainly lack something as a consequence. 

What it really means is that the device has the ability to be something different to each person that picks it up. That's closer to a real computing experience in my opinion. Maybe I'm just totally immersed in Microsoft's Metro design language and the manner in which it is supposed to reach people, but it's like anything I guess, move or be moved. 

I haven't fallen out of love with my iPad. For someone heavily invested in both Apple and Microsoft's ecosystems I don't see the Surface as a replacement for my tablet. In buying a Surface I would acquire it instead of a MacBook Air, Samsung Series 9, HP Folio 13 or similar. It's what I would get instead of a laptop to run the Windows operating system. 

It's better than an ultrabook because it can pretend to be a tablet when it needs to, while being yet even more portable because of it's battery life and size. I still don't think anyone has made a true Windows tablet device, and maybe no one needs to. The Surface, as it's own form factor has appeal all on it's own without having to plug into the marketing hype Microsoft has tried to foster. 

In truth, I think they would have done better putting it out there with no explanation and no expectations. I think the engineers who engaged a hacker-collective style means of rapid prototyping absolutely won the battle that the marketing department seems determined to lose for them. Yeah, they grabbed headlines and made Marco Arment nervous enough that he had to troll a Microsoft retail location, but they lost a valuable opportunity to stand alone outside of any shadow in the oxymoronic mobile desktop computing world. 

Microsoft could have said that there are two worlds and that they need not collide or compete. People are always going to want the option of a mobile desktop experience, mobile experience and yet even more mobile experience. If you've every traveled and carried three mobile computing devices (laptop, tablet, and smartphone) at once through the airport, you know what I mean. 

Microsoft RT is particularly interesting to me. I think RT will catch on, and being there in the beginning is going to be exciting. Early adopters will watch a whole application ecosystem grow and take advantage of it as it gains diversity. It's something that techies didn't really get to experience with the iPad because iOS had already existed previously on other devices. 

Yes, RT is basically just Windows, but the sort that has no applications outside that which enter the marketplace and were designed for touchscreens. It's like Microsoft is asking what it would have been like to start at the ground level with their OS, in a touch-capable hardware environment. I can't wait to see the answer. 

October 2012

I had it said to me, and then I turned around and said it to someone else. Sometimes when you can't be understood or the person can't be reasoned with, letting them know you are really angry is the second best thing. Maybe they'll just stay away, which is what probably what needs to happen anyway. 

This is a thinly veiled way of saying I've chosen to utterly exclude someone from my life. I have had to do that from time to time since I embarked on this road I'd chosen back in 2009. I always wonder if I'm doing the right thing, but it's a better feeling than knowing for sure that I didn't. 

Last year around this time I had possessed the urge to edit my first book and really push to self-publish. I decided to write another 700k words instead in the form of manuscripts for novels, game design for my Windows and Table Top game projects, and similar. What I've discovered is a truth I probably already knew. I'm even scared to read my blog from back then because I'm sure I made a mistake not engaging the editing and publishing process sooner. 

I've spent the month mourning that decision. Ask anyone with the misfortune to ask me how I've been doing lately, I'm sure they'll tell you. They will probably also tell you I'm not the forgiving or tolerant sort when it comes to failure of any sort really. Okay, I'm done feeling bad about that. It's out of my system. 

I'm a better writer now, which is what I really set out to do. So in that regard I haven't faltered in my primary goals and desires. Yay me. 

I've spent a lot of time pondering gadgets this month and the best computing devices for moving all my projects forward. Being a writer and a creative almost demands that you own a Mac, nothing else can endure my 8-10 hour day. Breaking in a new Windows Machine every 9 months at $1200 a pop seems kinda dumb compared to my three year old MacBook Pro that's outlasted two of my other machines. 

Developing games for the Windows Phone 8 platform requires different hardware entirely. Talking with my partner in crime, the mighty Livestrom, makes me certain it'll require a higher end machine. The new Windows Phones are going to be powerful and emulating them via the SDK is going to be like standing up almost two full operating systems. I'm due for a handset upgrade in February, so I might just wait and push game updates to the device itself for play testing.  

I really love my Samsung Focus though. I'll have to find it a good home if I upgrade.

I really liked being able to see everything in context to the code, how assets plugged in, and so forth. Not having my own SDK capable rig will be like building the game blind in some ways, but I don't know that I want to drop serious money on a machine that contribute to little else in my other endeavors. I don't even game on the PC anymore really so there's not even a recreational incentive for a faster machine. 

If it can make text reliably and run Sketchbook Pro and OneNote I'm basically fulfilled except with regard to end-game assets for the Windows Phone project. For a lot of it I can get by with Matthew Klundt's Sprite Something app, but for the rest there is only the hard-to-not-use Photoshop.

Mortality

The virtues that give real personal power exist without the benefit of men or Gods, and cannot be easily written down or expressed with words. It isn't the sense of one's self that seems to bring action in domains arcane or banal. I don't even pretend to understand this state of being, and have dwelled there only a handful of times. 

People attempt to convey and explain this peaceful state through their unfailing faith and science of certitudes. Always, it is with panic in their voice and fear in their eyes. No one can bring it into the light and would scarcely blame the shadows for their own sake. 

It's that moment in the middle of the night when we think of how long we've lived, and wonder how much time we have left. That terror of being lost to the stars and everything we are vanishing with us when our mortal coil expires. Only I don't think it really is terror, or fear. It's something else. 

We attempt to give it many names, but the one that fits best is mortality. Any transcendent state would be meaningless without the threat of, or one being subject to, death. If one lived with no fear, there would be no contrast relative to what we mere mortals loosely define as real virtue. 

Therefore, to really know virtue, one must be subject to death. Lots of folks would jump in with how it's part of some Godly or cosmic plan that gives this notion weight. I would argue this: even if there is a plan, such a truth gives human agency a sort of unearthly power that transcends any agenda, temporal or celestial. 

I (just a man) subject to all, can deny everything for my own sake and be at peace. To myself there is only what occurs in the moment that matters. And, I can live forever in those moments. 

Thus, one man can understand the cosmos and everything in it simply by virtue of being born and being subject to death. Of all the religious and philosophical nonsense being spread like like cheap marmalade across the toast of humanity, I like the taste of that idea best. 

Simply, it means that everyone has a chance.

September 2012

I've been doing what I do for three years now. To be honest, I thought I'd get one half-assed book done, burn out and just find another job nine months in. My expectations were low. 

I think what's allowed me to persist this long was a couple of things. First, the craft itself. Writing expands the mind and makes you think more deeply about everything. Good creatives are adaptable. Second, I had a marriage of ten years under my belt. 

You'll live or die as a creative because of who you know. Having someone there to root for you when you can't pick yourself up is pretty important. I'd have given this up two years ago if it wasn't for my wife. Creatives need relationships and allies. 

Choose your spouse and your friends carefully. Ditch anyone or anything that drags you down. 

In that three years I've watched the self-publishing scene go from a little bit of nothing to guys making six-figure paydays. There wasn't much to believe in back in 2009, there was just hope. 2012 is a completely different story. The self-published author gig is a legitimate way to make a living. 

I hoped it would be.