January 2012: Progress Report

I'm putting this up for my own benefit, so feel free to skip reading this unless the minutia of my work is interesting to you.

By the end of January I had...

... knocked out only 9 solid days of work on my novels and 45,000 words of my 1,000,000 word goal.

To give myself some perspective, I was unable to start my writing schedule until January 9th and I battled with my Credit Union and several other people I make payments every month to get my cost of living down. The time was well spent, the household will be much cheaper, about 30% less per month, to maintain financially hereafter. I was also still contributing to Master & Student, which as I write this, should go to certification pretty soon.

This is about 40,000 words less or 8 work days shy of the minimum I needed for this month.

Looking ahead...

February:

There are 21 good workdays in February that will garner me 105,000 words if I stay consistent landing me at the 150,000 word mark. That's 17,000 words shy of where I need to be. There are only two saturdays in February where I could possibly get some extra writing in bringing me to 160,000 if I really push.

March:

I have to travel in March for a few days, costing me two work days depending on whether I can get any work done on the road. I usually can, but I'm not going to count it until that actually happens. That leaves me with 20 good work days that I can use to add 100,000 words to my word count and two saturdays I could possibly squeak out another 10,000 words if I want to push.

If everything goes well, and I push I could be at the 270,000 word mark by the end of March being 20,000 words, or four work days ahead of the curve. That assumes I work 4 precious Saturdays to that end.

Conclusion:

It's going to take two full months to recover from a shaky start. There have already been a couple of days where I was able to hit 5800 words, slightly more than I usually write but it generally cuts into the time I spend doing research and outlining. Trying to push beyond 5k words a day is probably not worth it for that reason, I really need that time to prep and edit. I just need to be patient, slow and steady to the finish line.

Old Staff Fighter verses New

Clickorz to emgiggen

Sadly, the older pic looks better when cut and diminished to 200 x 240 pixels for the fly-in graphic during combat. Dave and I have been talking about developing for a different platform that would give me more screen landscape to play with. Might not be a bad idea as my artwork outgrows our current 800 x 480 limitation.

Artist Evolution

Clickorz pic to embiggen

When I was a kid I couldn't figure out which of my hands was the dominate and it wouldn't have mattered much because I couldn't tell my right from my left most of the time. Writing a sentence was a challenge until a few of my teachers got together and spent considerable time helping me retrain my chaotic mind to control my limbs. I still suck at Street Fighter.

I've been working on doing the Artwork for a game for the Windows Phone with a friend. I've been a doodler since I was small because I was told that anything I did to train my hands would help me overcome my disability. I wasn't very imaginative back then so it was all Transformers and thinly veiled replicas of my favorite comic book heroes.

I was talking to my business partner and friend last night about the progress in the game when he told me he'd handed it off to someone he works with. Every time he does that my heart sinks a little bit because like most creatives I thrive on the thing I fear most, criticism. So far, including what was described to me last night, everyone likes the artwork for the game. That's a big deal for me because I've only been doing digital artwork for a year.

My cousin posted a blog to his google plus stream that had been maintained by a gentlemen who started at ground zero and eventually transformed himself into a remarkable artist. I haven't posted a lot of my work because I'm self conscious about it, but the blog made me go back and look at the work I'd done in the last year.

I've painted/drawn/rendered Master Red, a character in our game, dozens of times trying to get him to look right. I wanted him to portray magnetism and intelligence like so many of the good people I associate with on a daily basis. I wanted he and the other two masters to be inspiring when the player sees them on the screen of their phone and receive their mission orders.

I'll have to go back through all my files and find some for Masters Blue and Green, and some of the other characters we've introduced over time. I'm beginning to see why keeping your old artwork is as important as keeping your old writing. Looking back I can see a lot of things I did right day 1 and things I still do wrong to this very moment.

When I'm simply told "this is awesome" it does little to help me refine this skill I've had to reach out to. It does a lot to keep me going though because drawing is extremely tiring for me and I think has been the source of a lot of my eye strain recently. Any fuel to carry on burns the same, and I'm grateful.

Amazon Cloud Player vs. Music Industry

This issue caused significant disruption to my workflow today. I posted a link to an article I found on the subject to Facebook and began asking questions. The three people I really wanted to collect opinions from ended up offering them up during the course of the thread. I really didn't know what to think but I assumed everyone with an internet connection familiar and with cloud computing would be quickly forming their own opinion.

As yet, I haven't formed mine.

Ian D. Mosley, a Graduate Student at Idaho State University Department of Sociology, Social Work & Criminal Justice said this about what he thought Amazon was doing:

"Expanding public access to information, ideas and perspectives. Removing the barriers between ideas and people. The digital world is growing, whether /they/ like it or not."

I think that with regard to cloud computing he's absolutely correct. People tend to go toward outcomes that give them more choices. I have a hard time thinking of a single person I couldn't talk into getting a DropBox account. Having more options relative to the access of your own data is a good thing. I think Ian's wise to see it that way.

Chris DeMarcus, a skilled musician and producer, who used to teach music business courses weighed in as well. He was concerned that people would use the service for nefarious purposes and that the laws governing the protection of copyrights were antiquated. I wondered if the changing of the law could help the situation because I'm a creative independent as well. He said this:

"I think the problem can't be solved. It's like when recorded music came out and you didn't have to hire a band anymore, or when PAs became so big, you just needed a DJ. Getting an album is a boutique thing. There is also so many other forms of alternative entertainment; Film, Cable TV, Video Games, and random other stupid amusements that keep human happy, unless you permeate into these markets, you're not going to live on your music. It will be a hobby. The only way to move into these markets is from the top down, with the aid of a label. That's how you're going to be the next NIN, Metallica, Coldplay, or U2."

Somewhat bleak, but apt.

I know you can self-publish through Amazon. I'm wondering if they will eventually include a social networking aspect like Apple's "Ping" that could be exploited by independent folks to promote their music or gain traction in the marketplace. I'd really like to see a situation where a regular Joe or Art could compete for attention in the global marketplace. I don't see why Amazon wouldn't push something like that, for them... sales are sales, right? While I'm dreaming, I'd like a flock of unicorns and a firmware update for my Samsung Focus.

Matthew Klundt, a Videographer & iOS Developer said that removing the middle man would make services like Amazon's Cloud Player better for creators and consumers. I wondered who he thought the middlemen were exactly. He said this:

"I see the labels being the problem middlemen between an artist and their customers. It is history repeating, VHS, CD's, internet, cloud. Industries who miss the technology forefront go down kicking and screaming (down, but not out)."

I agree that the Record Labels are part of the problem in that they themselves have become reliant on Amazon, Apple, Microsoft and others to peddle their digital goods to consumers. If there is going to be a middleman, there might only be room for one in what is already a pretty competitive market. I have the same questions and concerns about my novels. Do I want to go through a traditional publisher who in turn goes through yet another middleman to sell my book to an audience seeking digital reading material? Or, do I decide to approach Amazon and try to promote myself?

I don't honestly know the answer at this time.

Creative folks everywhere, I'm sure, are watching stuff like this. I'm wondering if it will help the little guy or more firmly assert the dominance of the traditional checkpoints between creator and consumer.

Self-Publishing Reapproach

Thinking out loud.

I started writing novels back in September of 09' for the purpose of self-publishing. I wanted as much control of my product as possible and be totally in the driver's seat relative to pushing it out to an audience. I wanted to do things my own way.

Then along came Windows Phone 7 and a host of other projects. Wasn't sure I had the time to promote my own stuff, so I looked around to see what the traditional publishing world was like. To just scratch the surface, I could bang on doors a long time and not get noticed. Particularly because most of what I wrote was set up to be self-published rather than for mass-consumption.

I outlined a couple of books that'd probably work better in the hands of a traditional publisher. It'll be summer before they're done. Regardless, I think they are good ideas worth exploring.

Now I'm back to looking at the self-publishing road. The couple of books I already have are a bit dusty but I've got some help if I need it with covers and arrangement. I think it would do me some good to have my stuff out there regardless, say nothing for my state of mind. Add to my list a new and different personal site. Something I didn't make in iWeb a year and a half ago.

I'm not where I'd like to be, but I wouldn't trade any of the experiences I've acquired getting this far for anything.

Brain off. Fingers on keyboard.

The Dangers of Opening Presents Early

My Wife and I had a bet about one of the gifts from her Father. She asserted that it was "just duct-tape" wrapped up in some newspaper. Knowing her father Jay like I do, I was just as certain this was not the case. On Christmas Eve she decided her one present would be the roll of duct tape.

Indeed, it was a roll of silvery tape as she had thought, but there was peculiar writing around it's circumference. It was clearly not Jay's handwriting and it appeared to be signed by "Red Green". The following morning, she opened her other gifts and discovered a first edition, and signed copy of the new Red Green book, with this photo inside the cover.

I guess I won the bet. It wasn't an ordinary roll of duct tape after all.

Jay Kent & Red Green ->

TSA in the USA

I'm not your typical traveler. I suffer from general anxiety disorder and so my reactions to the TSA's recently implemented security measures probably mess with me more than your average person. When my wife and I started talking about taking a flight to her SWIM program classes in Montana, I decided to do some looking around the intertoobs about the state of air travel. For me, it had been awhile.

Frankly, I'm more afraid of having to go through the TSA screening process than I am facing the prospect of being on a flight about to be hijacked. At least with terrorists I can take action, have recourse and some idea of their intentions. The TSA appears to have immunity and powers that regular law enforcement (with ten times the training) does not have. At least with terrorists, I can rip an armrest off my seat and try to cave in their skulls providing them independent oversight and myself some measure of recourse.

Is the hit to your civil liberties and dignity worth the false sense of security the TSA grants? 20 million air travelers this holiday season think so. Do those who sacrifice their liberty for security really deserve neither? I'm not really sure.

I think it really departs from being a privacy issue in the world we currently live in. We opt out of our privacy every time we activate the location services on our iOS device, log on to our Facebook Accounts, use Gmail, buy a car with GPS or Blog online about it. People relinquish their privacy all the time without giving it a second thought. I'm no different in that respect.

Even with all the reading and research I've done recently, the thing about the TSA's practices that bother me have little to do with the TSA. I think my overall disgust isn't with them or the way in which they do their jobs. Mostly, I can't believe I've inherited a world where such a thing is even necessary.

Politicians keep telling me and my fellow citizens that the military actions we've taken overseas is making for a safer America. 20 million people this holiday season are okay with the fact that our government has utterly failed to deliver on that promise. I'm not angry with the TSA, I'm angry at the people whose actions created the conditions whereby the existence of such an agency became necessary.

Take the Combating Online Infringement & Counterfeits Act that was adopted unanimously by the Senate's Judiciary Committee. It's not the stupidest thing to come out of our nation's capital in the last twelve months, but it's top 5. Do I think people should pirate and hack media for mass redistribution online to the detriment of the original creator? No.

Do I think this piece of legislation would have fixed the problem? It doesn't matter. Ultimately the outcome would be the US looking stupid as they tried to open foreign markets to homegrown and legit internet/online content and services. 40 of those foreign markets already engage in rampant online censorship. Censorship our government should allegedly oppose. Something about free speech being a part of our way of life. It's there somewhere, look it up.

Even if the legislation had worked (laugh, giggle, chortle, LoL, etc) we'd have ended up hurting our own case to aid legitimate online services entering foreign markets. Stupid? Self-defeating? Ill-conceived? I give you the majority of the United States Legislative Branch. There are so few people in the Senate and Congress with a clue, I'm terrified to see what they'll do next.

It's like watching someone throw gasoline and rage-virus infected baboons on a train wreck.

Thank God Senator Ron Wyden (Democrat from Oregon) had the sand to stand up and say no to COICA.

Being a Village Technologist

Talk with a good friend today about technology made me realize that I know enough to know I know nothing. I'm a few lines of code, a couple websites, and many gadgets past the average tech level of most other people. That being said, most of the people I know who really know tech... I wouldn't let them buy gadgets for me.

My devices have become living extensions of myself, tools I use to shape my words and other works.

This week I talked with someone that really struggled to understand what I do. To sum it up, if you walked into an auditorium of people and asked them to raise their hand if they had a smart phone... many wouldn't raise their hand. Ask the same group if they have an iPhone and watch the hands go up. Most people don't think they are the same thing.

Likewise when I talk to people about technology, especially stuff in the mobile end of the pool, most people are utterly clueless. Blissfully so, as most mobile devices have no practical use to most people. Not in the sense that the device would pay for itself. I see people use dumb phones to text all the time. They aren't missing out on anything, up until they see someone playing Angry Birds or Chaos Rings.

I haven't heard my mom get excited about anything for a long time. She's had interests, projects and endeavors. I've heard the tone in her voice that indicated something she saw or experienced intrigued her, but I'd almost forgotten what it sounded like to hear excitement. Yesterday, she told me she acquired an iPhone 4. Excitement.

She knew I'd understand.

About six months ago, I wrote something to the effect that I looked forward to the hub-bub of mobile tech to quiet down. I wanted a world where mobile technology ceased to be exciting and became common place so I could sit and write anywhere I wanted without attracting much of any attention. I think I still want those things, but I'll never stop being excited about mobile technology.

I know many people who have fettered themselves with devices and software that do not suit them or their needs. For some, an Asus Netbook running Linux with 8 gigs of flash memory would be sufficient. For others, they need thousands of dollars in hardware. I feel that way when it comes to smart phones, but I haven't had the chance to actually handle more than the emulator for WP7.

People are protective of their gadgets. My wife's iPod Touch and iMac both have many stories, stickers, and memories associated with them. Even when offered with the chance to upgrade, she will likely decline, using both until they die. I find that most people are that way, even with a device they don't like.

I'm far more mercenary. My devices stay in good shape not out of pride, but so they'll be easier to sell when I find something better. Given the trends in both desktop and mobile computing, I doubt I'll be trading up any time soon. Technological contentment does not suit me, and I read the tech blogs every day hoping that someone will break into the market with something that makes Microsoft, Apple, Google, and all the rest rethink the entire way they do things.

And yes, I still want a Courier.

Dating Advice and Engadget Geeks

Oops, accidentally posted a draft of this post, instead of just saving it. (-_-)

Leslie Sobon's (of AMD) blog post about winning the affections of a geek in five easy lessons made some noise on Engadget here recently. The whole thing is baffling to me as it was written mostly in jest, to be funny, as a piece of light reading. Why one of the Engadget writers would take such deep offense to it is confusing, and only got more so as I pondered the matter.

Background:

Engadget comes off sexist at times, particularly in a podcast I watched a month or two ago. The only one I ever watched, they made a really big deal out of having a woman from the staff, Laura June, come on stage to banter with the guys. Apparently, that was a first time thing. Near as I can tell she's an editor for Engadget now. When Engadget's head man was commenting on how none of them had formal writing training, Laura corrected him saying that she did (and she does). His response? "That's because you're a girl" or something similar.

I'd have to re-watch the whole thing again to remember exactly the conversation, but I remember it just seemed really off. If you like stereotypes, it seemed to showcase the challenges women probably face going into an industry largely dominated by guys who couldn't get a date to the junior prom. If you don't, it was still a really awkward moment on that particular podcast.

Engadget's angry rebuttal to Leslie Sobon was written by Laura June.

Leslie Sobon and Laura June couldn't be more different. Putting those two in a room paints a vivid picture in my mind. If you were to meet Leslie, I'd see her as professional, witty, and dressed in business casual. I envision Laura being totally different, showing up in a Slayer T-Shirt, probably wanting to talk about the Sims or compare xBox game libraries.

I'm not sure why Laura June spent so much time trashing what Leslie Sobon had to say, but I'd pay good money to watch the two box three rounds for charity.

Leslie Sobon's Blog Post

Laura June's Rebuttal

Option

I can't say enough good about the last couple of weeks.

Got caught up with a couple of friends from High School, my first book is in final edit, and I scored a sweet side project where I get to paint. Also, I've got two deadlines looming this month to finish the first drafts of two more books. Better, these are deadlines I think I'll be able to keep even though I've taken on some extra work.

Unfortunately, until August 31st my RPGs and Blog will likely suffer. I hate having to put anything on the back burner, because I love it all, but so much of what I'm doing this month relative to my own works is time sensitive. I really want at least three books published before the end of the year, so I can take it easy around the holidays.

Been quietly reminiscing about the old LARP days lately... hence the picture above.

The Stack

As I wrote the final words to my book, I felt a great rush of achievement. It is something I had for nine months sought out, researched, and taken careful steps to plan for. I knew that the preparation would be worth it in the end when I decided to sit down and write the darned thing.

67,978 words.

397 pages in Courier 12, double spaced.

25 Days, including weekends, almost a week behind the probably impossible schedule I set for myself.

I look forward to going through and beginning the process of editing. Knowing myself, the book will probably swell to the 75k words I had envisioned. It seems to be the nature of my mind to see the numbers in something clearly as it works itself out.

I am so glad to be on the other side of the hardest part of writing a book, just getting the story down on paper.

Sunshine

Had to take a break from the blog and even my journal.

Writing fiction eight hours a day somewhat precludes being honest with one's self within the confines of the same medium. I like where I've been in the last six months, where I am, and where I'm going. Those people that have problems, avoid them, while displacing blame and accountability? My friend Tara thinks that vice and virtue aren't that different, in fact, interchangeable.

I spent the better part of 2008 and 2009 completely avoiding the things that were eating me to the point of gross neglect. Now I feel like I'm at the other side of the tunnel pointing, all my discipline bent to tackle the next problem, and there aren't any. My friend Andrea would like me to be happy, and in her own way pointed out that I'm my own problem in that ... problem.

The last six months, I spent most of it using up my sorrow to evoke change, and to write. Now that I'm down the road, 35-50 page a week for six months... I have the basis for many books both fiction, RPG, and... well, philosophical. Some of it is going to get self-published because I want it to be mine. Copyrights, trademarks, the works... but not to protect the possible (extremely dubious) financial benefits. I really want these works to be more than just written by me, I want to own them in the most temporal and worldly way possible.

I want to say that I'm a writer. I'll probably never have a degree or a piece of paper issued to me that proves that, unless I write it myself. Right now, if people ask me what I do... I tell them I'm unemployed passing the time in a converted garage writing random stuff. My wife gives me more credit. Nevertheless, it is something better to put my energy towards than ... well, being morbidly depressed.

Blessings

In no particular order:

Someone to keep you company.

Having a place to work that's quiet and comfortable.

What is it with me and red anyway?

Resolve

Having resolve to do what you set out to do takes perseverance... obviously.

After my panic attack yesterday, I spent the day resting. Also, I wrote a few pages I genuinely like, and had a rewarding sit down with my Apotheosis (Sci-Fi) setting folks. My ideas were well received and the benefit of working outside of the bubble paid off.

The days when I'm just not feeling it, I need to spend the day drawing, writing letters, playing video games, anything but working. I end up with 15-20 pages of drivel that makes me feel bad about what I'm doing. Those days have been rare of late, this really snuck up on me. Usually I feel the rhythm of my own voice and all is well. All I could feel yesterday was panic.

The whole episode has made me introspective, more than usual. Having largely conquered the anxiety that had all but crippled me in July and August of 09', I had myself feeling invincible again writing in quantity. For anyone who knows how it is to feel fragile, it comes with a certain acceptance over time, and I'm just not there yet. I'm too stupid, stubborn, or both to give myself the room to put my work aside when the situation warrants it.

I thought about taking what I posted down, but I think it needs to stay as a reminder to cut myself a little slack. Think I'll do some writing tomorrow, unless I'm cloudy with a chance of rain.

Pictures and Thousands of Words

I had some folks ask, and yeah...

The vast majority of the pictures posted above my blog entries I took myself. Even some of the abstract stuff are pictures I took around town of odd things. Out of all the posts, there's probably two that have pictures I didn't take, make, or draw.

Lizzy and Tara have always been welcome supporters of my endeavors, sneaking in front of my camera together more than a couple of times. So much of what I do, and what I've done, would have been far less rewarding without you guys. Thanks.

Chalk Outlines & Hose Water

Got a haircut today. Amazing what actually giving a damn about your personal appearance can do for your self-esteem and general mental health. It made me happy, which made my wife happy, which made me happy. It's strange how one little thing can make you delirious and goofy.

I think I had been mourning all this time for Darrell. I knew it would take someone special to replace him.

All the same I returned home and accomplished little today. Got a new laptop bag (a Crumpler no less) because BBP has been dragging their feet on the new merchandise. The Crumpler has a no frills top flap upon which I can sew my Swedish flag, and my band patches. Not the cheesy ones though... those I'm saving for my sacred work coveralls.

Met with my Apotheosis table, got chinese food in the aftermath and returned home to stare at the computer screen until 3 AM. I think tomorrow will be an upkeep day and I'll hit the writing fresh on Monday... try to put it out of my head in the meantime and do something I haven't done for awhile.

Relax.